senoritazorro's Xanga

On passing deforesting construction on the way to school

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 20:56:39 GMT

No more as merry shall be our young men
In the coming generations
As those of olden time forest and fen,
For instead of grand, adventurous play
They learn skills and calculations,
Thus painting their lives drab, dutiful gray.

beautimus

Tue, 12 Aug 2008 04:13:48 GMT

I love reading, but I haven't been good about actually picking up a book I've been interested in. Margaret Feinberg is an author whose work I've been wanting to read for a while and I finally got the chance thanks to a friend (Elizabeth!!) letting me borrow her copy of the organic God. The first chapter was read a few weeks ago, but last Monday and Tuesday when my aunt and I road-tripped to pick my littlest sister up I read through to the fourth or fifth chapter. This book is wonderful. She is an engaging writer sharing some of the aspects of God's character as found in the scriptures and relating some of the ways He has worked in her life. My brief critique doesn't begin to do it justice - I had as many "haha" moments as I did "aha" moments.

One chapter she talks of God's beauty. The way she wrote it, that we often have a bottom-up view of beauty instead of a top-down view, has been stewing in my brain somewhat. We often look at the beauty in the people or things around us, nature, art, architecture, and appreciate the beauty found there. However we don't often look at the author of that beauty, the One who infused the lovliness found in the people and things around us. And our perception of beauty is often a bit lopsided and skewed, focusing very much on physical beauty, aesthetic appeal, and symmetry to some degree. I've also been watching some of the Dove Self-esteem & True beauty videos and just mulling over this idea of beauty - that the beauty and value to be found in a person is a reflection of the value of their Creator, the One who loves them and calls them beautiful. I don't think I'm smart enough to put it in my own words and I don't want to plagiarize either. Thankfully, as Derek Webb says, the truth is public domain:

He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.
- Ecclesiastes 3:11

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.
-Psalm 27:4

And the following is not scripture but a poem that is often cited as Audrey Hepburn's favorite, one that she lived by. I found it posted on the Dove Campaign for Real Beauty forums:

Time Tested Beauty Tips

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge you'll never walk alone.

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; Never throw out anybody.

Remember, If you ever need a helping hand, you'll find one at the end of your arm.

As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.

The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman must be seen from in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides.

The beauty of a woman is not in a facial mole, but true beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It is the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows, and the beauty of a woman with passing years only grows!

--Sam Levenson

What is beauty to you?

Divine Dreams

Sat, 08 Mar 2008 03:39:53 GMT

This is from the most recent 850 Words of RELEVANT newsletter: "35 ideas that changed the world". They also have an article posted on their website.

Lou Engle—Leader of The Call, Nov. 2006
> "The Bible says that before a child is formed in his mother's womb, God knows him. It's a life, a dream of God—which means that, since 1973, there have been 47 million dreams of God shattered in this country alone."

Babies have the cutest feet.

For you created my inmost being; 
you knit me together in my mother's womb.

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful, 
I know that full well.

My frame was not hidden from you 
     when I was made in the secret place. 
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,

your eyes saw my unformed body. 
All the days ordained for me 
  were written in your book 
before one of them came to be.

How precious to me are your thoughts, O God! 
How vast is the sum of them!

Were I to count them, 
       they would outnumber the grains of sand. 
When I awake, 
I am still with you.

-Psalm 139: 13-18

A Return to Internet

Wed, 06 Feb 2008 05:36:12 GMT

With the Lenten season upon us I have decided to fast from presidential voting for the next 40 days. I'm glad that I got my fill of it today.

Actually, that brings me to the three topics I wish to speak of today:

We now have internet at home again! For a long time I have either used the internet at my grandma's house or at the library, but we hooked up the DSL modem last night at our house and I got to surfing and updating. The computer is in my room which means I'll have to set some rules with myself about not staying up until all hours of the night (ahem) when I should instead be doing homework (Ahem) since I have been blessed to be able to return to school (aHEM!).
I voted today. A sense of patriotism and civic responsibility lingered briefly into the afternoon. My lunch break at work was enough time to drive back to my old polling location, cast my ballot, and submit a change of address form so that I can vote down the street from my house instead of halfway across town - though I always enjoy the drive through that neighborhood... "Memories..." ♪

Back at my desk after working I also listened to one of my infrequently listened to favorite artists: Derek Webb. It was the song A King & A Kingdom from his album Mockingbird. A good song and a good album. Lots of praying, reading, and listening to do.

Lord, you're so much bigger than me - your thoughts encapsulate those of so many. You see these dreams and hopes, those tears and wails, and You never flinch away in apathy or pity. You love. May I be an answer to prayers, Father, reaching out in the name of Jesus. All glory to You Father, for you are worthy!
Lent. If asked, I would probably most identify myself with more evangelical/charismatic doctrine, but as with some Orthodox Christian practices I am intrigued by the observance of Lent. Being raised Catholic as young children, my siblings and I observed Lent with the juvenile declarations of abstinence from broccoli, homework, or some other youthful luxury. The lack of these temporarily disallowed items would most certainly draw us closer to God and show our devotion to Him through our forbearance. *cough*

Either anywho (which in retrospect was likely my favorite phrase in the 8th grade), one aspect of having the mind of Christ is self-denial.

Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,
who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery
to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation,
taking the form of a bondservant,
and coming in the likeness of men.
Philippians 2:5-7

Sunday, September 09, 2007

Sun, 09 Sep 2007 02:58:43 GMT

_.~.-*-.~_--=@=--_~.-*-.~._

i speak the words of North with heart and tongue so southern.
body divided: flesh, soul, heart, bones.
North, send breeze fresh, briny off the coast of crystal-slapped shores,
cooling this scorched frame (been crawling through southern flames),
sandblasting the dead away, the sin-rot flesh decay.
not dapper yet, sad days a while yet, making way North yet!

_.~.-*-.~_--=@=--_~.-*-.~._

A couple or so weeks ago at our Thursday night Bible study we talked about going through the flames, the trials that will come up and test our faith. Whenever those trials come we truly have to clothe ourselves in our faith, armor up and press on. God is faithful to lead us through anything and goes before us. We have to seek His direction and then take the steps to obey and follow where He is leading.

Do you see what this means—all these pioneers who blazed the way, all these veterans cheering us on? It means we'd better get on with it. Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we're in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever. And now he's there, in the place of honor, right alongside God. When you find yourselves flagging in your faith, go over that story again, item by item, that long litany of hostility he plowed through. That will shoot adrenaline into your souls!

Hebrews 12:1-3 (The Message)

Are there any flames that you guys have been walking through recently? Any prayer needs?
Grace and peace to you in Christ!!

Ye Olde Poetry Archyves

Fri, 15 Jun 2007 15:35:32 GMT

I find myself
in the midst of this uneasy sea.
Look toward old harbor, you see
considerable distance
has been covered and
there is yet much more
to conquer.

I have come a long way with longer still to go.
How many times have I brushed my hair?

Flailing arms amuse the currents.
Thinking the struggle solely mine,
I am oft tossed and toppled,
thrown to and fro,
partially by my own
foolish,
unyielded
will.
This ocean knows my weakness.

I have come a long way with longer still to go.
I behold my reflection so often these days.

Choking brine seeps through
between
self pitying cries.
Daily battles and defeats;
They have to be given up,
apathy abandoned.
Broken lungs don't breathe too good.

I have come a long way, with how much longer still to go?
I look for the tranquil surface which reflects
    not the tousled hair
    not the tired eyes
    not the gleaming teeth
    not the ghastly pain
    not the tailored pants
    not the tarnished me.

This sea swept soul searches for
the embodied reflection
of its Heart and Refuge
to aide others among the waves.

The salt erodes the whitewash.
The sea breathe whispers new life.
Oh, Lord of these waters, grant mercy and peace.

10-1-2005

Feeling Alive

Mon, 28 May 2007 03:57:32 GMT

Baby bro graduated from High School on Friday night. He's all growing up!

And I'm
O
L
D.

Then Saturday morning the brave siblings four traversed the rocky climes of the local near-mountain. Well, said bro and I took the ascent while the other sisters two remained at base camp to frolic with the myriad happy park-goers and to enjoy the scenic grandeur of the lower altitude hiking trails.

They probably had the right idea as brother and I undertook to race each other down. Yours truly is in no shape to race anybody anywhere in most cases, but especially not down the mountain path that is densely laden with stones and boulders the like of which could easily maim, mutilate, and mortify.

It was
so
much
FUN!

In all this I am glad to have my siblings and glad to have life. Even more so I am glad that I have new life and life to come.

Can I go one post without thanking God for His unspeakable grace in Jesus Christ, the Lord and Saviour of my life?

I pray
that
day
never
comes.

Here Thar be Stickers

Wed, 25 Apr 2007 13:57:19 GMT

IT'S a lovely rainy day today. I wore my new flip-flops and rolled up jeans to school. Feet were meant to be free, and the squishy feeling between my toes tells me that mine are pretty near there.

After checking in with my 2D Design teacher to show him the latest work on my final project, I headed back to the car to switch my art bag out for my backpack. Feeling adventurous I crossed to the side of the street opposite that with the sidewalk in order to walk in the wet grass and for a short time watch the rushing, swollen creek course its way through campus. Quite daring am I.

While affording more freedom to the feet of the wearer, flip-flops sadly do not protect said footsies from stickers.
*sigh*

But on a positive note, I think I'm in love.

Or at least trying to get there. The other day myself was set down with and asked whether she had ever really been in love. She thought this one of the silliest questions as she had surely been quite taken, even deeply infatuated before. She was confronted with the fact that those feelings are not love.

So she undertook to really contemplate the answer, if there was one, to that question. Finally she concluded that yes, she has been in love before, perhaps a smidgeon of the eros/romantic/mushy-mushy stuff and much more the philia/familial/friend strong affection and high regard. However, as far as self-sacrifical love that does not look on the outer appearance of things but seeks the truth, that is something to be learned every day. You can't sit still and stay where you are. You may appreciate things for a short time, but you have to keep learning and growing. That's pretty vague, but being a follower of Christ means seeking to love Him every day, to find ways to show that love and spend time with Him cultivating that relationship.

My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn't know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can't know him if you don't love.

This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they've done to our relationship with God.

My dear, dear friends, if God loved us like this, we certainly ought to love each other. No one has seen God, ever. But if we love one another, God dwells deeply within us, and his love becomes complete in us—perfect love!

-1 John 4:7-12 (The Message)

Inside-Out Girl

Wed, 11 Apr 2007 16:53:00 GMT

I was just remeniscing on the old Nickelodeon short Inside-Out Boy while trying to think of an appropriate title for this post.

The last two weeks have seen some phenomenal movement in my life, God moving in my life.

March 25th - I went forward in church and made a public profession of faith in the death, burial, and resurrection of Jesus Christ as atonement for my sins and claiming Him as the only one who can save me from life without God, both now and to come, and as the sovreign force in my life, that I would lay everything down to Him. Big stuff.
April 1st - baptized in water, for forgiveness of sins and as a symbol of dying to myself, past sins, and this world, and taking up the new life that God gave me through His Son. Personally appropriate, it was April Fool's Day and Palm Sunday. We also observed the Lord's supper that evening right after the baptism. Great fellowship.
April 9th - baptized in the Spirit [in Starbucks, with Coldplay in the background ] though I'm not sure if that is the correct wording for it. It was actually one of those events that was undeniably a working of God, if for the only reason that it was so seemingly completely chance. Blew me out of the water.
Last night I went with two friends to a church where the body of believers were so earnest and so united in God's Spirit. Refreshing.

So, maybe not inside-out, but I am not the same person that I was two weeks ago. There is a whole new configuration at work here. Hopefully not the same person that I was even yesterday. There are a lot of questions, but some of them I really don't worry about answering right now, if ever.

To go back to where I was would just be wrong; I'm pressing on.

Next Chapter

Wed, 21 Mar 2007 16:35:33 GMT

I'm not sure if I would consider the contents of individual journals to be definitive chapters in my life, based on my late start and recently stochastic writing. Journal keeping was not a practice of mine until about the 5th grade. I would write at least a paragraph every day. The amount and variety of creativity in my journals expanded in junior high school and then homeschooling, when they would also be scrapbooks, copy books, sketchpads, and sratch paper. Each journal also seems to have a bit of its own personality, if you will, based on both the exterior design or style and the interior contents.

Some of these journals have not seen the light of day for one reason or another. Those unfortunate books that accompanied me through depression or anger just get left in whatever boxes they happen to be stored in. However, one of my favorite journals has a prominent spot on my bookshelf. It is tall, slim, and rich royal blue with a picture vines and flowers on the front and back covers. It was probably my first journal with unlined pages.

At first the idea of a journal with unlined pages was absurd, but then I found that I preferred it that way. There was a loose page that had leader lines if I wanted to use that, but more often than not there was such freedom in not confining my thoughts to those dull, evenly spaced lines. There are pages filled with text that curved around pictures or pasted movie tickets or text that spiraled around on the page, mimicking the way my thoughts had been spiraling around in my head that day. That was also the journal that saw my relationship with my best friend blossom and start to become what it is today. My feelings for that book are probably as strong as some of the feelings that are recorded in it.

I finished a journal that has been with me for approximately the last two years. That lifetime is due to the fact that I have been perfectly awful at maintaining any consistency in writing, despite the best of intentions. However, there is a new challenge to take record in one of the books that is awaiting selection as my new paper confidant. A young lady in the youth group at one of the churches (yes, there are two) I attend has taken up a personal summons to read the Holy Bible every day and write in her journal. She has also asked for accountability in this venture. She is an amazing young lady and I hope to be whatever help I can. Her move has also prompted me to make a similar commitment, not just to my books, but to God's Book, which has far stronger meaning and relevance in my life than anything I have penned.

The question now is the petite orange, oriental-dragon-embellished journal or the taller hand-dyed, natural fiber journal?